Being asked to speak at your grandma's funeral is an honor, and it can also feel strange. You knew her well as your grandma, but she may have lived fifty or sixty years before you were born, and some of the people in the room will have known her for all of them. The good news is that a grandchild's view of her is exactly what many families want to hear. You can tell her life story briefly and then talk about what she was like with you.
This page covers how to gather what you need, some questions to ask, and a full example. For the general process, see how to write a eulogy, and for more complete tributes, the eulogy examples page.
Find out about the years before you
Most grandchildren know the later part of their grandma's life best. Before you write, talk to her children, her sisters or brothers, and her friends from church or the neighborhood. Ask where she grew up, what her parents did, what she was like as a young woman and how she met your grandpa or her partner. You'll often hear stories nobody has told in years, and some of them will surprise you.
Photo albums, recipe cards and old letters help too. A family Bible or a scrapbook can give you names and dates to check with the family. If she wrote notes in the margins of her cookbooks, you may find a line or two in her own words that you can read out.
Questions to help you get started
- Where was she born, and what was her childhood like?
- What work did she do, on a farm, in a job or at home?
- How did she meet your grandpa or her partner?
- What did she always cook, bake or keep in the cookie jar?
- What did you do together when you visited?
- What did she call you, and what did she always say when you left?
- Which hobbies, games or clubs mattered to her?
- What would she want her great-grandchildren to know about her?
Things to think about
Speak for the other grandchildren. If you're one of several grandchildren, ask your cousins for a memory each. You can't include them all, but you can say that you're speaking for everyone and mention a few of their stories by name. It helps the whole family feel included.
Her children are grieving their mom. Your parents, aunts and uncles have lost their mother. Share a draft with at least one of them before the service. They can check dates and names, and they'll tell you if anything would be hard to hear.
Her later years. If she lived in a care home or needed help at the end, you can thank the staff and the family members who cared for her. It's kind to remember her as she was for most of her life, and you don't need to describe her health.
Her faith and her community. For many grandmothers, church, a quilting group or a volunteer role was a big part of life. Mentioning it helps the people from those parts of her life feel they belong at the service.
Example eulogy for a grandma
This example is read by a granddaughter at her grandma's funeral in a small Lutheran church in Litchfield, Minnesota. It runs to about four minutes.
Good morning. I'm Kelsey, and Dorothy was my grandma. My dad is her oldest son, Steve. On behalf of Grandma's four children, eleven grandchildren and six great-grandchildren, thank you for being here.
Grandma was born Dorothy Anderson in 1936, on a dairy farm outside Litchfield, the youngest of five. She told us she was milking cows before school by the time she was eight, and walking to a one-room schoolhouse in snow that got deeper every time she told the story. After high school she worked at the bank in town, and that's where she met Grandpa Walt, who came in every Friday to deposit his paycheck and, she said, to see her. They were married at this church in 1957.
Grandpa and Grandma farmed for over forty years, and they raised four children and more cats than anyone could count. Grandma kept the books for the farm and taught Sunday school here for twenty-five years. She also made lunch for whoever was working in the field that day, which in harvest season could be ten people.
For those of us who grew up visiting her, Grandma's kitchen was the center of everything. There was always coffee on and a pan of bars on the counter, and she usually had a hotdish in the oven in case somebody stopped by. At Christmas she made lefse with my aunts at the kitchen table, and she let each grandchild roll one out, even though ours were never round. She put them on the plate with everyone else's and never said a word.
Grandma taught every one of us to play cribbage. She was very patient when we were learning and then she beat us for the rest of our lives. My cousin Ben claims he won a game against her in 2009. None of us saw it, and she always said she didn't remember it happening.
Every summer the whole family went to the lake cabin up near Brainerd for a week. Grandma sat on the dock in her sun hat and counted heads every twenty minutes, even after we were all grown up. When I was twelve she taught me to clean a sunfish, and she told me I did it better than Grandpa, which I found out later she said to everyone.
After Grandpa died in 2012, she moved into town, and she kept going. She joined a quilting group at church, and at eighty-four she learned to video call, mostly so she could see the great-grandbabies. She would hold the phone very close to her face and ask if we could hear her, and we always could.
Thank you to the staff at the care center, who looked after Grandma so kindly this last year, and to Aunt Linda, who visited her almost every day.
Whenever we left her house, Grandma stood on the front step and waved until the car was out of sight. So Grandma, we're waving back. Thank you for everything. We love you.
Why it works: it gives her early life in a few clear lines, then spends most of its time on the memories her grandchildren share. It includes a cousin by name, thanks the people who cared for her, and ends with a small habit everyone in the family will recognize.
Ways to end a eulogy for your grandma
- "Thank you, Grandma, for all the time you gave us, and for every game of cribbage. We love you."
- "She always told us to get home safe. We will, Grandma. Rest well."
- "I'll finish with what she wrote in every birthday card she ever sent us: love always, Grandma. Love always to you, too."
You might also find the guides for a eulogy for your mom and a eulogy for your dad helpful, especially if your parent is giving the main eulogy and you're adding a few words. The page on funeral speeches covers shorter tributes and readings.
Common questions
How do I start a eulogy for my grandma?
Thank everyone for coming and say who you are, for example "I'm Kelsey, one of Dorothy's granddaughters." Then start with where she grew up, or with a memory of her house or her kitchen that most of her grandchildren will share.
I didn't know much about her early life. What can I say?
Ask her children, her sisters or brothers, and her oldest friends. Look through photo albums and any letters or recipe cards she kept. You can also say honestly that you knew her mainly as Grandma, and then talk about what she was like with you. That's a perfectly good eulogy.
Should a grandchild give the eulogy, or one of her children?
Either works. Sometimes one of her children gives the main eulogy and a grandchild speaks for the grandchildren. Sometimes a grandchild speaks because her children find it too hard. Talk it through as a family and make sure the funeral home or the pastor knows who is speaking and in what order.
How long should a eulogy for my grandma be?
Three to five minutes is typical, which is about 400 to 650 words. If several grandchildren are speaking, each person might keep to a minute or two. Check with the funeral director or pastor how much time the service allows.